Watching yourself

As I wait for the last few adjustments to the 5-minute short film DER GUGELHUPF, I wanted to put on my actress hat and tell you about what it feels like to watch yourself acting on screen.

Let me tell you something: I've never been as self-critical than with this film. Is it because it's a product of my imagination? Because I was involved on more levels than in other projects? Probably!

So far, the first viewings of my films have come with some difficulty - sometimes with my inner voice screaming "stop overacting!" - but in subsequent viewings, I settle in, watch the other actors, notice the camera movements, and take more and more distance from it. I haven't lived with it as long as the director has, so I am able to take a step back and enjoy the story.

People find it strange that some actors don't like watching themselves. However, it actually makes a lot of sense. Screen acting is such a younger craft than the millennia-old discipline of the actor. The original job of the actor is to perform to a live audience. Words are said, audiences react, actors react to the audience, everything's immediate. What's more, the power of the moment means that you have the luxury of not watching your own performance. Therefore, I understand that when you are watching a film six months after actually shooting it, you may feel like some of it is fake: you have evolved, you've done other things, and you are now looking at something that you felt all those months ago. Perhaps today, you would have reacted differently.

Back to DER GUGELHUPF: I'm actually quite grateful, because I've finally found out about a very important habit I have and which appears on screen here. I've either not had it come out this much before, or directors didn't mind it, but I have been watching it multiple times over the last month and it definitely caught my eye. I see it as a lesson! If you want to know what it is, you'll have to watch the film!

On that note, I wish everyone a good week, and thank you for following!